June 2019: Curious Cows and Camping…

Cows, I’ve always considered them to be fairly docile creatures. They wander around the field chomp on some grass and generally keep themselves to themselves. Now, I don’t know if the cows on the north kent marshes are eating something they shouldn’t be, but that wasn’t how they greeted me the other day! The bloomin’ things made me wish I was carrying a spare pair of underpants.

Yes, it’s time for another wild camp and this time my plan was to head back down to the marshes for a camp beside the Thames. I wanted to enjoy a nice walk, cook some nice food and take some nice photographs of the wildlife, everything was supposed to be nice. Except it wasn’t very nice at all, those sodd!ng cows scuppered my plans didn’t they! Ggrrr

It’s a fairly easy, three mile walk from the nearest village to the area that I had in mind for camping and I enjoyed my little saunter down to the river. I’ve camped at this spot a few times before and you can read about those trips here and here if you like. In those posts I waxed lyrically about my appreciation of the north Kent marshes owing to the way in which the landscape is full of contrasts where nature reigns supreme amidst a backdrop of heavy industry and agriculture. It really is a wonderful place to explore.

The walk is mostly downhill so it didn’t take long to reach the riverside, I was glad to reach my destination though as I had packed in a few luxury items for this trip including a cast iron frying pan. If you’re interested in reading about ultralight backpacking then this probably isn’t going to be the blog for you! I sat on the grass bank and took a moment to drink in my surroundings and decide where to set up camp. I spotted a large herd of cows over in the distance and noticed that they were in the same field as me. I thought nothing of it and carried on scanning the marshes with my binoculars. I spotted a Marsh Harrier hunting the fields and abruptly swooping down to the ground as it spotted something tasty for lunch. An amazing sight to behold and one of the many reasons why I like to come down here.

Hang on a minute, the herd of Cows started to make their way around the field towards me. I expected them to just amble by doing their own thing. But no, as they got closer they started to move faster and seem a little excitable as they started to gallop around me. This made me nervous, but the thing that made me even more nervous was the fact that one of the Cows kept trying to jump on the back of the others - there was a bull in the field and that horny hunk of steak had only one thing on his mind!

I promptly decided to gather my things and get out of there. I scarpered down on to the beach, probably not my best idea as some of the cattle just stood on the bank looking at me while others followed me down. Ooh eck I thought, I can’t be dealing with this on a camp. I decided to abort this camping spot, walk the three miles back to the car and head for the sanctuary of my woodland permission. But before I could do that I still had to get past these Cows and the randy bull. I headed around the beach, climbed back on to the bank and as I did that the Cows ran off to the corner of the field that I needed to head towards. Doh! I waited a while but they just stood there staring at me, the bull mounted another cow. I copped a glimpse of his gentleman’s sausage and it left me feeling very insignificant indeed!

In the end, I swallowed a brave pill, gave myself a stern talking to and paced confidently and boldly over to the fence stile. They clocked me straight away and made a bee line for me. They ran around like excitable puppies and once again started to surround me. My heart was beating like a drum n bass tune, I couldn’t believe a bunch of docile cows were so intimidating but it was a relief to make it back across the fence. As soon as I hopped over the fence stile, they just carried on mooching around the field like nothing had happened.

I managed to capture some of the fun on video, check it out and have a laugh at my expense!

With that traumatic experience behind me, I knuckled down and walked the three miles back to my car. There isn’t an awful lot to say about this experience other than to add that it was hot and sweaty! All good exercise though.

It was nice to be back in the woods, I instantly felt the cooling benefit of walking beneath the thick woodland canopy. There was no need to rush, it was early afternoon and I had plenty of time to rest in camp, have a cup of tea and prepare some lunch.

I enjoyed something a little bit different for lunch as I made a simplified version of a pizza calzone. This was based upon a recipe I got from a youtube channel called ‘Off the beaten pot’. This channel is all about cooking good food while out on the trail and he has cooked some wonderful meals on a very basic trangia cook-set. Rather than steal his thunder and go through the recipe, I’ll leave a link to his channel here and recommend that you head on over. The recipe is very basic and easy to prepare; the key is to use a tomato cup a soup to create a lovely paste for the pizza base (a tortilla!), this in my opinion is what really brings out the traditional pizza flavour.

Home for the evening was set to be a relatively simple set-up. I had my small 7x5ft tarp, trusty British army gore-tex bivvy bag, Exped sleeping mat and my one season sleeping bag. I used my hazel stick to pitch the tarp in a free-standing lean-to/lavvu style which should keep out some rain that was forecast for later in the evening. I could have just strung a ridgeline between the trees and opted for a simpler set-up. But I am planning on walking a 75 mile section of the North Downs Way this summer and wanted to test out a simple lightweight shelter that I could use beside the trail.

Check out this video of the gear that I took on this trip

As I was camping in the woodland permission, I thought it would be nice to have a small fire for a bit of evening ambience. Given that I’d initially packed for camp on the marshes, I didn’t really pack my usual fire lighting kit and the only tool that I had with me was my old faithful Swiss army knife. This wasn’t too much of a drama though, I gathered some dry standing wood from the nearby hazel and pine trees and used my Swiss army knife to harvest some birch bark from a dead branch that was on the woodland floor. 

I thought this would be a great opportunity to practice the ‘one match fire’. This quite simply is designed to replicate a scenario where you’re in a survival situation and only have a single match to get a fire established. Of course, the idea of being in a survival situation wasn’t too far from the truth for me. It was only a few hours ago that I had just extricated myself from a potentially life threatening situation……that Bull definitely winked at me! With this at the forefront of my mind, I was extra vigilant with my firewood prep and made sure that the birch bark was broken down into fine slithers that would ignite from a burning match.

Happily, everything went to plan, the ‘one match fire’ was a success! In the interests of full disclosure, there was barely a breath of wind in the woods and that made life considerably easier! That aside, my fire prep was ‘on point’ as everything ignited exactly as it should have done. Without a saw and an axe, I prepped the primary fuel with the most primitive of wood processing tools – my hands and feet!

Here’s a video of me trying the one match fire

Dinner was to be a relatively simple meal of sausages, baked beans and bannock bread. The good thing about this meal was that it is kind of like an insurance policy. Because, if my one season sleeping bag failed to keep me warm at night, then the sausage and bean induced farts certainly wouldn’t!

Joking aside, it’s often the simple meals that are the best and this was no exception, I do enjoy a decent sausage and will often choose them over a nice steak for my camping meals. I guess I am a man of simple pleasures! The bannock bread is also a lovely thing to make while out camping and I go through how I made this in the video below. 

With my belly full of food and the light starting to fade in the woods, I settled down for an evening by the fire and cracked open a beer. Time seems to move slowly when you’re solo camping and it gives you a lot of time to relax and grow accustomed to the wildlife activity around you. I enjoy camping with friends and the laughter that comes with it, but I think a solo camp from time to time is very good for the mind.

The forecast rain arrived later in the evening and I took that as my cue to bed down under the tarp. As I lay there in my bivvy bag, I set up the trangia stove and got the kettle on so that I could enjoy a hot chocolate while listening to the rain pitter-patter against the tarp. It’s easy to feel a little bit vulnerable when camping under a small tarp and worry that your gear could get wet. I took comfort from the fact that my tarp was giving me plenty of cover and that my bivvy bag ensured that my sleeping kit stayed nice and dry. All my other kit apart from the cook kit and water bottle was stowed away in my rucksack. I think it’s very important to stay organised when wild camping!

At this time of year I’ve often found that it’s the Skylarks that are the first to awake me from my slumber at around 3.30. They emerge from their ground nests in the nearby fields, soar up into the dawn sky and sing their synonymous song from dawn until dusk. That’s far too early for me though, I drift off to sleep for a few more hours, occasionally waking to hear the other birds exercise their vocal chords. I imagine what it’d be like if we humans felt so compelled to break into song at daybreak. It’d make a pleasant change from the myriad of news outlets wittering on about Brexit or whatever the Kardashians have been up to.

What song would you sing if you had to wake up every morning and perform a little number? I reckon ‘Lovely Day’ by Bill Withers would be a magnificent way to start the day.

But anyway, I digress! Time for a cup of tea and some porridge as I slowly start to pack away camp. As always it’s important to leave no trace, I packed away my rubbish, extinguished and dispersed the cool ashes from the fire and re-covered the area with leaf litter.

And that concludes another camp. This wasn’t my most productive camp but it was indeed a much needed bit of down time with one or two memorable moments thrown in for good measure. I’ll never look at a cow in the same way again!

Thanks as always for reading and well done if you made it this far.

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